double exposures

I have a fascination with double exposure photos. 

I have had a curious nature in the area of photography throughout my whole life, probably because my mom was an avid amateur shutterbug. I was her most frequent subject.

I have a lot to learn about cameras, photo-taking, and such. A lot I want to learn, a lot I should learn, a lot I may never learn or master, and a lot I do not care to worry about.

I just love capturing moments in everyday life and I love old photographers who did the same.

But still, I have to say that double exposure photos hold the most interest for me. I can study them for hours and revisit them over and over and still have the same thrill each time.

I need a real life, you say? Probably so.

You can find a double exposure of me in the photos in my right side margin. I am playing the child-sized piano, and it seems, rollerskating at the same time, like a clone. Pretty neat-o, since I often need to clone myself to get enough done or be in 2 places at once, as a mom.

Here is one in my collection. I don't know these people.
You may click on the photos to enlarge them for a better look.

What's fun about this one is that the double exposures are each at different placements- one at vertical or portrait, the other at horizontal or landscape. This makes the images easier to study as they are not doubled on top of one another. It makes it easier to find which arm goes with which person and so on.

So, here we go... a well dressed, pleasant enough family unit, I think you'll agree.

Of note is the  interesting toy boat in the son's hand that I have outlined on the scanner to bring into focus. As some boys did, he is wearing a sailor-type shirt. Imagine his weary mother trying to keep that bright white and crisply ironed !

Flipped the other direction... and now you see a photo which includes additional family members or friends in an area of extensive brick. It begs the question: Is the floor bricked also? Take another look at the first photo and see if the floor in the 2nd photo is an optical illusion in that it is actually the wall in the first photo? What do you think?

Of note: I have outlined on the scanner, the boy in front is holding a string in his hand that is being pulled by something outside the view of this photo; a dog, maybe? Also outlined is the fact that an adult woman is sitting in a rather un-lady-like manner with her knees spread wide, like mother always said not to sit. Maybe they should have considered that Aunt Mable couldn't join in the proposed pose due to her arthritis, huh?

Have you stopped to think that double exposures are a thing of past photographic eras with the digital camera age? I don't think it is a possibility to have this accident of the photographer happen. Then there is the topic of the delete button and how many everyday snapshots are deemed not worthy of being keepers... like those that we treasure from long ago society.

 I have other great antique and retro era double exposure photos I should share later. In the meantime, check out my photo Etsy and also Studio blog, links located in right side margin.

our first real snow of the season

How wonderful the world looks around me, in the first snow to stick for this season! 

The trees look like they are carefully frosted. 

The night time is brighter in the white glow.

THINGS I AM LIKING TODAY:

• the fireplace heating up the brick kitchen wall
• watching old vhs movie favorites under a down-filled quilt
• ham leftovers for lunch and dinner
• all the glow of the Christmas tree lights  
• planning for bowling and ice skating with the kids
• my car which gets me safely around and stops well in the snow
• a warm bed to curl up in with soft blankets and cozy flowered pillow case
• a connection to a dear friend at just the right times 
• the newly organized pantry

THINGS I WANT TO DO:

• switch to my new computer desk area set-up
• continue weeding out Christmas decor
• sort more magazines that were hand-me-downs
• hear from a long not seen friend I have reached out to
• set up some clearance sale item listings in my Etsy shop

Christmas greeting

Merry Happy Christmas

May your new year be filled with 

health

joy

friendship

love

changes

I have been looking through my old posts about my home and collections.
I think it is a good thing to chronicle the every day things in one's life, it gives perspective.
I have changed.
A lot.
My priorities.
My tastes.
My interests.
My expectations.
Looking at past snapshots of my home tells me a lot more than what is seen in the photos.
It reveals a lot about me... to me!

But on the surface, and as far as what is in the photos, this is what I find--
I have eliminated lots of things in my life mostly by choice, but a tiny few by other circumstances.
For example:
1. Two ugly blue plaid love seats (always hated those), gone. Same for ugly red and blue plaid couch from other room, gone. Both were inherited and they provided a place to sit and no more than that as an attribute.
2. Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls and related paraphernalia, also gone for the most part and what is left (about 5% of the original collection), packed away.

3. Dishes, dishes, and more dishes... all inherited and some dragged in the house by other means. Now given away, or donated to charity. Out of my life.

4. Teddy Bears and dolls, but SO much more to get rid of by a variety of means. Always hated the inherited Teddy Bears. Sorry. The dolls, well, way too many. and besides, the girls don't want all those when they are out on their own anyway. Both Teddies and dolls have a lot of emotional guilt attached to them as far as feeling obligated to retain. No more. The guilt curse must be broken. Saying is way more easy than doing. So much guilt of the money that was spent (not by me) on such a non-useful item.

5. Why is it that people ( some direct person in my family tree) felt that spending money on certain things was to be considered an investment for when the stuff came to be mine? I say it was foolish wasteful use of funds. There, I said it. The economy may have been different once upon a time, but I have 2 sayings to conclude this point.
First-- What things are supposedly worth and what people are willing to pay for them are two VERY different points of reality.
Secondly-- Having a lot of useless "valuable" things means you just have to leave more behind when you are homeless.
Don't get me wrong, I am not planning on being homeless. Just sayin'. Think about it, and I think you will agree. In the height of the foreclosure era do you ever drive through an unfamiliar neighborhood and see empty houses and lots of stuff out at the curb? Did they choose to move out of a rental situation and simply did not want all that to follow them to their new destination? Or was it that a well settled family who went through unforeseen unfortunate times and a home foreclosure and had to leave stuff they had (like the 4 kids' favorite games and trophies or family heirlooms from 3 generations ago) because they had just so long to pack what they could fit into their cousins' basement who was kindly enough to take in the family under their crowded roof until something better comes along? I think of this stuff. A lot of my kids' friends have faced this. It's sad.

6. In general, as I look at the past photos of my home, I see that I have lightened the load of thinking that everything that comes into my life, by means other than my choice, does NOT have to stay in my life...or home. I have begun to look at purchasing ANYTHING with a different mindset. I continue to struggle with lightening the load even more. Time is the main factor in this. Sorting is the process. Things need different categories, you know the drill... sell, donate, give away, keep, trash it. Sometimes I think it is easier to just bring in a dumpster like the ones they use when you get a new roof and grab a snow shovel and open a window, start scooping and chuck it all out. YES I AM EXAGGERATING... yet, you get my point.

7. There are many more specifics regarding changes about which items have been used, displayed, or stored within my environment, but the conclusion is... at this stage of my life, less is more. I am utterly and completely comfortable in other people's homes that have lots of furniture and knick-knacks (chatchkies), or paper build up (I will never be free from that myself!), or a lived in slightly untidy cluttered (yet clean) atmosphere. I am absolutely and completely 100% comfortable with that at other people's homes....just not mine...because to me it represents my own expectations with myself and what I want to accomplish for my life.

My family and friends all live somewhere in the middle between an episode of hoarders vs. a sterile surfaced, temperature controlled, air filtered bubble. I don't know anyone personally at either extreme end of that scale. I could never be comfortable anywhere that is an ultra minimalist-type home. I could never live that way nor could I feel cozy to sit for 5 minutes at a home that does live that way. You know the kind... 1)where there are no pictures anywhere, 2) no mail or bills sitting about needing attention, 3)no kid art gracing, maybe, the front of the refrigerator or displayed proudly somewhere prominently, 4) no blanket tossed over the end of the couch, 5) no dish or two waiting to be washed after Sunday brunch ( but if they sit one minute too long I go crazy), 6) no laundry waiting to be done, or 7)no trace of dust (temporarily!!)somewhere near the wood burning fireplace to write your name in along side a smiley face, or..... you get the idea, right?

Holiday Cheer

What Have I Been Up To?

• Trying to secure a job that fits. (failing miserably)
• Trying to tidy (3 kids, remember) and decorate the house. (failing miserably)
• Trying to maintain a smile so everyone can see the me they want to see. (failing?)
• Trying to put myself first on the list for a change. (or anywhere on the list, number 1,001 would be even acceptable)

What Do I Need To Do?

• Prepare, serve and hostess a dinner for family and friends.
• Be a wonderful wife, mother, and all the rest.
• Make it through another holiday season.

What do I Want To Do?

• Bask in the joy of observing anyone other than me, today, clean a toilet (or anything else) around here.
• Disappear for 24 hrs and see if anyone notices.
• Relax for any amount of time, do nothing for more than 30 seconds, not look at a calendar for a day, have no appointments for 24 hours...... in other words, BE SELFISH.

another day in a string of bliss

What have I been up to?

• having to accept that some things just happen as they will, no matter how much planning you do in life (a tough realization sometimes, for me that is!)
• adjusting lifestyle to 1 paycheck after finally being pretty gosh darn comfy with 2 ( I am worth so much more, but have to be humble in securing that a paycheck is again at least steadily received)
• enjoying little moments with family and friends ( not saying I have oodles and oodles of friends more than you, but why is there never enough time for all the fun that beckons to be had with those you treasure?)

What have I completed?

• painted a thrifted desk that has been patiently awaiting my attention for FAR too long. It is now semi-gloss black with sleek silver metal drawer pulls and a decoupaged top featuring gobs of clock face images sealed off with plenty of clear coat (to protect precious "time")
• taking the 1st big step to changing a kitchen that has been asking for a make-over for nearly 58 yrs (will be a slow process... due to second point above)
• sorting through and eliminating scads of magazines (did you know that if you only save the pages you really are interested in, you can make the compressed foundation of your house rise a few inches?)

What do I need to do?

• clean my closet (what the heck is in the back anyway?)
• dig out the favorite Christmas decor and chuck the rest to the goodwill (the kids probably don't want that stuff one thinks they do when they move out some day. Someday seems a  l o n  g way off !)
• write some Thank You notes ( to show I have some upbringing, after-all)

What do I want to do?

• disassemble the dog pen before the snow flies so I can see more of the pines coated in frosty white sparkles (or at least stop looking at the eyesore as it is now)
• tackle the file cabinet so my new year will start fresh (Geez, I hate ugly paperwork build-up)
• put more photos in black frames, new and vintage (writing on the backs would be a bonus too)

season of vintage fun

I'll say it again.... The colors of these old images get me every time. Soft, yet vivid. I am a girl who notices the little things, how 'bout you? The crisp red and white (my two favorites together no matter what they grace), the sharp green around his shoulder, the yellow of his pants cuff, the subtle pink of the bricks. *sigh*

Have fun with Mr. Jolly if you print him.
Here are some suggestions:

1. gift tag by just sticking some tape on it, or better yet, punch a hole and add some recycled twine

2. twin images glued back to back with a special ribbon scrap loop sandwiched between the glued pieces and dangled from a special spot to make you smile when you see his smile

3. have an old piece of styrofoam hanging around somewhere?.... put it in the bottom of any deep bowl, vase, or whatever strikes your fancy, add some pine sprigs or holly (or both!) to stand upright... add to that an old tarnished fork (or new one), standing upright as well, and use the tines to hold the image.... place your creation on a mantle, entrance table, or as a dinner centerpiece

mailbox

This is my painted mailbox. Each side is different. It has been many themes over the years. I've painted ivy vines and sunflowers and pine trees and Tulips and stars and stripes and holly leaves.

I think we have the biggest and oldest metal mailbox on the street. I had to wire brush it this last summer as there were just too many layers accumulating. It still has the layered look that is so fashionable among painted mailboxes- well at least that's the fashion that my mailbox prefers. My mail lady even tells me when it is time to paint something new. She tells me when she begins to grow bored of one design. I am not offended just inspired at that!

fairy houses (a re-post of an old story)

Being a stay at home mom used to involve more staying at home time when the kids were all younger. Now it is about trying to find the time to stay at home in between all the running here and there.
I admit I reminisce much too frequently over the good ol' days when we would spend a whole day out in the front yard under the tall, tall pines and "play fairy houses", as my girls always called it. They used the whole phrase as a verb instead of verb and nouns. Funny how a lot of their toddler language has stuck in our daily speech...to the point of me sometimes reminding them to not use our many, many little endearing phrases in front of the general public, lest we all be seen as some uneducated lot.

Click here for an old post about our wonderfully fun fairy houses, some of which are still standing today!!
We used to spend entire summer days out in the yard. Most days no place else we wanted to be and no place we had to be. Playing with no sense of the clocks of the world and dragging a blanket out in the soft grass under the cool cover of the shade trees. Piles of picture story books at our sides with many decisions to make over which one to read first or last.

Of course I remember that some days (all too many as I look back) the dynamic and mood of the day was lead along by E and her state of mind. Some days you could not win with her. The sky was green and the grass was blue and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

We went to A2 as a spur of the moment road trip the other day and went to some of our favorite places and some news places too.

I was suddenly consciously struck by how many places we return to that remind me (no matter where we go in and around our town or out of town) of the specific melt down she was having that day. Believe me there are many! Yet, I am reminded that I never felt anger or loss of patience over the situation, but the pure agonizing heartbreak I felt for this smart, multi talented little child, little girl, young adult. My E.

I had no control over making the world right for her --or her siblings as their worlds were altered as a symptom of her symptoms.

Maybe today I will toss a blanket under the canopy of cooling leafed branches overhead and pile some picture books at my side and stack a few twigs to shelter a fairy or two and pretend that the clocks of the world do not exist--even if it is for a few ironic moments--and hope that the grass will be green and the sky blue for my E. today.

day for accomplishments

Hoping to get something really done and crossed off the list(s) today !
Everyone's fridge looks like this one... IF they dress in an apron and heels (and maybe a string of pearls), that is.

What's new?
* the kids ALL woke up (and got up) early this morning
* we will not get to play with my great nephew. change of plans, last minute
* weed and feed on the front lawn is not weeding or feeding !

Things I like today:
* antique photos
* a clean floor
* throwing things out (yes, I recycle too)
* seeing my uncle's RED roses, yesterday, all aburst (made that word up, I think)
* '96 Firebird, t - top, sweet interior

Things I want to do:
* pack up a lot of kid stuffed animals that are not played with but still loved
* put some old pictures in frames
* decide what to wear for "date night", which these days functions more like a household business meeting

Things I need to do:
* buy a new sprinkler
* plan for neighborhood pot luck
* figure out when to sleep tomorrow (full calendar. SURPRISE !)
* buy daughter a new bathing suit
* buy son a new boy scout shirt

checking in

I have had a time of trying to find time for everything (mostly daytime sleep), with working my 3rd shift job (which I love !!!). Time is always a theme with me. Ongoing.
Lately, finding myself daydreaming of years gone by when the kids were young and we used to have blanket picnics in the yard and read books under the shade trees and blow bubbles and eat watermelon slices and watch the clouds move across the blue skies. *sigh*

What's new?
school is done for the summer for 2 of the kids
a 16 year old now with an official driver's license
an almost 20 year old with 2 jobs
an 11 year old with big plans for summer camp.

What I want to do:
* ride my bicycle even more
* rearrange my bedroom
* porch needs attention for the summer
* organize those papers on the computer desk that I don't want to have to look at but still need to retain and corral. Luckily it can be done with a great storage box covered with colored pencil looking bird art images on them that I found for $2 a few days ago. I do love bird art, especially when just $2

What I need to do:
* figure out why all my flowers I just planted are dying already
* repaint the mailbox
* take more clothes that are too big (yep, too big) to the Goodwill

Back....finally!

[ love this photo I took of my daughter and a surprising gourd from our garden ]

My computer, it seems, is somewhat of a senior citizen in the technology world. I could no longer blog as I once did. I could not install the needed updates that Blogger required to play on my own blog. Sad, really.

I had a lot to say. I wasn't sure what to do. When in doubt, and you are of a certain middle age, what should you do?....Ask the advice of a teenage offspring, that's what!!

Now it is all fixed and well, and now I am back. With a lot to say.

[ my stack of antiques travel cases filled with special keepsakes, I have since this photo ditched the one in the middle with no handle. ]

Things I have Been Up To:

* I lost 50 lbs in 5 months, my first goal, and so far a total of 54lbs

* loving my new job of about 7 months!!

* not getting much of anything done around the house

* learning to say "no" to things and people

* severing the umbilical cords to my children so they can become more independent

* surviving somehow on less than 5 hours of sleep every 24

* enjoying my new car

* trying to enjoy every minute of every day, as life seems to be racing past

* reading an interesting book

* celebrating another birthday

* feeding a bit of shoe lust with some purchases, I was very long overdue for a turn (life of a mom)...usually the kids get all the new shoes!

Things I want To Do:

* work in my gardens

* rearrange the furniture in my bedroom

* paint in watercolors

* draw my favorite birds in colored pencils

* achieve my next weight loss goal by August

* get rid of "material things" around the house with emotional guilt attachments

Things I Need To Do:

* sort through stuff around the house

* redo my filing cabinet

* detail the inside of my cars

* clean out my closet, lots of things are WAY too big to fit anymore!

* take stuff to the Goodwill

* take donations of books and videos to school

Fun Ideas

Do you have things all over your refrigerator? You know what I mean by things, right? Just ...things!

I have a calendar the size of Texas on mine to try to have the space to fit in all the stuff I need to do each day with three busy kids. I solved the problem of having too many other things on my fridge by doing something with those things somewhere else. it happened with an antique frame, some chicken wire, and some spray paint.

I didn't have to take out the glass from the frame 'cuz someone had already done that chore before I found it abandoned. Abandoned, I say. Who would do that to a frame with so much carved wood detail and so much potential left in it? This frame is big I tell ya, about 4 feet high and 2 feet across. The wood is about 8 inches wide! Anyway, I staple gunned some chicken wire to the back side and then spray painted the heck out of it all, the chicken wire and including the frame, and now it is in an awkward corner of my kitchen that I never quite knew what to do with anyway. It holds my photos, notes, recipes, reminders, and whatever else seems to find its way into our life and needs a place to be seen. I hold them on to the chicken wire with old wooden clothes pins. Mine are naturally weathered as I use them on an actual clothesline and treat myself to a fresh batch from the dollar store each spring. Lucky me!

These very vintage Valentines you see above are available in the shop as a collage sheet you print, and would be fun to tuck on your own chicken wire frame or on a fridge in your house...or you could craft with them if you have the time. Time. That is something which seems to escape me these days. Extra time anyway. How 'bout you?

That's why I am doing my crafting by virtual idea sharing so you can do what I wish I had time to do. *sigh*

These are sweet little 1920's images which my mom saved. She saved everything. Some things I am glad of, others, well we won't waste time on all that. They are now a collage sheet too and couldn't you picture the little heart shaped ones cut out and glued to some dollar store paper doilies and then added to a wide ribbon to hang vertically? That would be sweet indeed.

I have lots of themed collage sheets and cowboys and cowgirls is just one of them. How fun to throw a themed party and have these as decor and table extras!! You could make them into place cards or napkin wraps. Shrink their size to make cupcake toppers by cutting them out in small squares and glueing back to back on toothpicks, wah--lah, instant Martha whatever her name is!! Or play tricks on your printer by making some in a mirror image, cut them out right along the edges of the images and then glue them back to back on cord, ribbon or fish line and make a kind of mobile to hang at all different levels to twist and turn. Super fun!

Circus is just one more of the many collage sheet themes, besides fire fighters, policemen, and space-- just to name a few. I could really imagine a bunch of different circus images cut out and glued along a sheer ribbon, or bias tape ribbon, or that super duper great twisty kinda striped baker's/butcher's twine stuff...and then hang it all along a wall or in an archway like a banner bunting. And look at these-- you could play with the image and then add your little one's name to the hearts to make an adorable nursery bunting...or use them for a shower party set up!!

Click here to check them out.

On to the new year...

Soon we are on to the new year.
Hope your holiday was a merry happy Christmas time.
Ours was nice with lots of shared love, laughter with the kids, and blessings.

We built a big puzzle and watched old favorite movies on VHS and DVD together last night.
Tonight maybe some old 8mm and super 8 movies of our family shown on a projector against a pull down tripod screen.
Memories -new- are fun to make, memories -old- are fun to revisit.

Christmas was held together by Mom

I find I miss my Mom a lot at different times of the year like Christmas... and Sunday through Saturday and January through December. She has been gone from Earth for 12 years now even though she is ever present in my mind and heart.

Any of you that have lost a Mom can attest that Christmases are not the same anymore. Mom's are the glue that hold it all together.

I never realized how she did it every year. Making it all come off so well. Making it all seem so easy. Now that I am grown up {I feel like I never was grown up until I had no more Mom. Sometimes I wonder if I am grown up YET!} I wish she were here to tell me the secrets.

The house was always decorated. The traditions always carried out. Dinner always just right. Santa always magic.

I feel like I don't have the "knack". I hold on to the selfish thought that maybe it was all smoke and mirrors and I am not a big loser in the Mom Department.

Whatever the answer is- she was always the wizard behind the curtain at Christmastime and I never was able to get a really good peek behind the curtain so I could be the wizard heir.

I do know one thing for certain- She must have spiked the egg nog and tested it well when she came up with the idea of dressing my big brothers alike each year. Is that child abuse???!!!!

winter song

A sweet image that is about 70 years old. The colors in these old illustrations are just different somehow and they warm my soul. Hope it warms yours too, and maybe ignites a spark for a great craft idea in which to use it. Have fun.

Are you going to be ready for the happy Christmas holiday or are you going to say enough is good enough? Don't be too hard on yourself.

still around...

Betcha wondered what became of me? Maybe not?
I am still here.
Life is busy. Busier every year.
I am enjoying the ride but wish some days it all went at a slower pace.
Any ideas how to slow the spin of the Earth?
Looking forward to Christmas. How 'bout you?
I have been reading blogs... far more often than writing on my own.
That's obvious.
I have some great new (vintage) photos to list as digital scan purchase. Hope to get to those SOON!

Happy Halloween

(both images above are from a 1800s antique primer)

click for crow source


click for source for all the following antique images

ooh, scary

a distant relative of ol' Drac?

spirit fog?

the hatters, mad?

just back from the scary attic

spooked

lonely hollow music played

Happy Halloween!

Life takes me along

I have been so very busy that I find I have been away from the blog for almost a complete month. I needed to stop in and type up some words.

Some days I feel like this....
A stick in a stream being pulled along and trying desperately to avoid the rapids and rocks.

I thought of this example in the car one day when I was being the usual family taxi service, a responsibility I seem to be sentenced to for now. Don't get me wrong, I want to transport my children to the places they need to be and also want them to do some fun things too. I just feel like I am always last on the list of priorities.

I am my (now adult) special needs daughter's transportation when she cannot utilize the county's para-transport system bus. I hope to someday find a reliable person to take my place in this, if not all the time at least some of the time. It is a real tie down to my schedule and life. Please don't think I do not absolutely love her. Any parent of a special needs child knows what I mean.
Transportation is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to responsibilities of managing her day to day life. It all takes dedication of a lot of time to run an organized life of a special needs child, no matter their age or stage of life.

Lots of my so called friends have proved to be "fair weather friends" and have decided they just can't understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I don't ask that. I just ask for them to listen, as I listen to their joys as well as challenges and sorrows with their own children and their own lives too.


Lots has been going on in my own life and in our house too.
I have gone on strike (again) with some household duties--I am only one person, after all-- but most of them seem to be un-noticed anyway.
We have had to do a major home improvement project- not by voluntary choice, I may add, and the timing is pretty bad.
I have been without my job since July 31st, since my boss suddenly died.
I have been without my uncle since he died. He was my boss.
I cared for him 5-7 days per week in his home for 5 years, also including being his driver and companion for all his transportation needs, and doing all his shopping runs by myself, alone.
I will tell you this: It is hard to have a relative as an employer too.
My only other uncle died just 5 weeks after my boss uncle.
I spent some treasured quality time with him in his last few weeks.
I miss them both so much more than I had ever expected.

Now that the frost is covering the neighborhood each morning, I realize that I did not even have time to use my clothesline this summer. Now it's time to stack the firewood closer to the house. The clothesline will be there next summer, waiting.

I find I am not such a fun person these days. I think of all the creative thoughts I had and things I did.
I will get back to all that some day soon.
Just not now.
Life is taking me for a ride down that stream, at a very fast clip.

Flash Back-simple memories

Now that Summer is getting closer to its end and changing looks, grass grows more slowly and the crickets and cicadas are being extra noisy especially at night, I find myself being reminiscent of times when I was a young girl.

--getting on the bus the first day back to school, deciding where to sit
--new stiff shoes, maybe with a (grown-up feeling) 1/2 inch heel
--the smell of a new box of crayons
--weekend slumber parties with friends, playing board games until way past a normal bedtime
--doodling in spiral notebooks using lots of different colored pens or markers, while listening to the radio
--flowered cotton pajamas, sweet smelling from the laundry line
--playing outside using imagination for hours, without a care in the world
-- lying on the floor next to the sleeping cat in the patch of sun shining through the window, wondering how she makes that purr sound

Memories are such a strong therapy when grown-up-ness gets too hard.