Holiday Cheer

What Have I Been Up To?

• Trying to secure a job that fits. (failing miserably)
• Trying to tidy (3 kids, remember) and decorate the house. (failing miserably)
• Trying to maintain a smile so everyone can see the me they want to see. (failing?)
• Trying to put myself first on the list for a change. (or anywhere on the list, number 1,001 would be even acceptable)

What Do I Need To Do?

• Prepare, serve and hostess a dinner for family and friends.
• Be a wonderful wife, mother, and all the rest.
• Make it through another holiday season.

What do I Want To Do?

• Bask in the joy of observing anyone other than me, today, clean a toilet (or anything else) around here.
• Disappear for 24 hrs and see if anyone notices.
• Relax for any amount of time, do nothing for more than 30 seconds, not look at a calendar for a day, have no appointments for 24 hours...... in other words, BE SELFISH.

fairy houses (a re-post of an old story)

Being a stay at home mom used to involve more staying at home time when the kids were all younger. Now it is about trying to find the time to stay at home in between all the running here and there.
I admit I reminisce much too frequently over the good ol' days when we would spend a whole day out in the front yard under the tall, tall pines and "play fairy houses", as my girls always called it. They used the whole phrase as a verb instead of verb and nouns. Funny how a lot of their toddler language has stuck in our daily speech...to the point of me sometimes reminding them to not use our many, many little endearing phrases in front of the general public, lest we all be seen as some uneducated lot.

Click here for an old post about our wonderfully fun fairy houses, some of which are still standing today!!
We used to spend entire summer days out in the yard. Most days no place else we wanted to be and no place we had to be. Playing with no sense of the clocks of the world and dragging a blanket out in the soft grass under the cool cover of the shade trees. Piles of picture story books at our sides with many decisions to make over which one to read first or last.

Of course I remember that some days (all too many as I look back) the dynamic and mood of the day was lead along by E and her state of mind. Some days you could not win with her. The sky was green and the grass was blue and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

We went to A2 as a spur of the moment road trip the other day and went to some of our favorite places and some news places too.

I was suddenly consciously struck by how many places we return to that remind me (no matter where we go in and around our town or out of town) of the specific melt down she was having that day. Believe me there are many! Yet, I am reminded that I never felt anger or loss of patience over the situation, but the pure agonizing heartbreak I felt for this smart, multi talented little child, little girl, young adult. My E.

I had no control over making the world right for her --or her siblings as their worlds were altered as a symptom of her symptoms.

Maybe today I will toss a blanket under the canopy of cooling leafed branches overhead and pile some picture books at my side and stack a few twigs to shelter a fairy or two and pretend that the clocks of the world do not exist--even if it is for a few ironic moments--and hope that the grass will be green and the sky blue for my E. today.

Life takes me along

I have been so very busy that I find I have been away from the blog for almost a complete month. I needed to stop in and type up some words.

Some days I feel like this....
A stick in a stream being pulled along and trying desperately to avoid the rapids and rocks.

I thought of this example in the car one day when I was being the usual family taxi service, a responsibility I seem to be sentenced to for now. Don't get me wrong, I want to transport my children to the places they need to be and also want them to do some fun things too. I just feel like I am always last on the list of priorities.

I am my (now adult) special needs daughter's transportation when she cannot utilize the county's para-transport system bus. I hope to someday find a reliable person to take my place in this, if not all the time at least some of the time. It is a real tie down to my schedule and life. Please don't think I do not absolutely love her. Any parent of a special needs child knows what I mean.
Transportation is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to responsibilities of managing her day to day life. It all takes dedication of a lot of time to run an organized life of a special needs child, no matter their age or stage of life.

Lots of my so called friends have proved to be "fair weather friends" and have decided they just can't understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I don't ask that. I just ask for them to listen, as I listen to their joys as well as challenges and sorrows with their own children and their own lives too.


Lots has been going on in my own life and in our house too.
I have gone on strike (again) with some household duties--I am only one person, after all-- but most of them seem to be un-noticed anyway.
We have had to do a major home improvement project- not by voluntary choice, I may add, and the timing is pretty bad.
I have been without my job since July 31st, since my boss suddenly died.
I have been without my uncle since he died. He was my boss.
I cared for him 5-7 days per week in his home for 5 years, also including being his driver and companion for all his transportation needs, and doing all his shopping runs by myself, alone.
I will tell you this: It is hard to have a relative as an employer too.
My only other uncle died just 5 weeks after my boss uncle.
I spent some treasured quality time with him in his last few weeks.
I miss them both so much more than I had ever expected.

Now that the frost is covering the neighborhood each morning, I realize that I did not even have time to use my clothesline this summer. Now it's time to stack the firewood closer to the house. The clothesline will be there next summer, waiting.

I find I am not such a fun person these days. I think of all the creative thoughts I had and things I did.
I will get back to all that some day soon.
Just not now.
Life is taking me for a ride down that stream, at a very fast clip.

recycle

If you are not into recycling you think the items in these photos are just junk. If you do recycle you will say, "Hey!, possibilities can be endless with imagination!"

This photo is at a fun store that has all types of things that can be used again... from the obvious such as fabric pieces and ribbons and beads and photo mat board and frames and wallpaper sample books and wood scraps...to the not so obvious kinds of things that usually get directly sent to the trash- but if you use some imagination they can become art ingredients.

My son has been in a recycling club for 2 years at school. His main job each week is to empty the big bins of paper from his assigned classrooms into the outside paper recycle hopper to be made into more new paper. They also have art days too, where they make things from recycled items. There are both girls and boys in the club so they have made many types of arts creations with unexpected items. Everything from making their own homemade paper to creating beads from junk mail to thinking up new practical creative ways to use things as is beyond their original intended purpose.

My oldest daughter is involved in making art at an art gallery. Some of their sculpture-like art pieces are created with recycled items. The gallery, which is open to the public and sells art made only by young adults with disabilities, is in a beautiful historical building.  I am crazy for old buildings with worn down not so level wooden floors and high tin ceilings and exposed brick walls and vintage window glass that is wavy and has tiny bubbles in it. During our first tour, I walked around with a constant smile on my face. The attributes of the old building structure, wonderful set up of the gallery displays and of course the art itself was inriguing. My daughter also could not stop smiling.The studio sells items, both 2 dimensional and 3 dimensional (priced from just a few dollars all the way up to $800) to business owners for their offices, private owners for their homes, and it is a perfect place to shop for gift giving. I knew this was the place for my daughter to blossom, and so took the long, red-tape paperwork steps to have her apply to be one of their artists, since they had an opening for a new artist to be added. (I'm certain if you have a special needs child/young adult then you know what this all means at every step of their life! Paperwork, waiting, denial, approval, more paperwork...) My daughter has had many of her drawings, paintings, and photography matted and framed to be offered for sale in the gallery. I see the pride she has, and I am proud of her every day.

All of my children are artists. I am an artist. We each have our own interests and specialties.
Art is everywhere you go every day. Clothing, signs, menus, book jackets, movie posters, home furnishings, landscaping, architecture, and on and on in so many directions. So many forms of art. Even nature is art.

Back to the story attached to this photo-- The idea of the creative "trash curtain" is an interesting concept, and I would do it with some variations. For example, I think it would be fun to customize it with a monochromatic color approach and do all bottle lids (caps), or all the same shapes (of whatever) on a string. Hang several as outdoor art to catch the wind near at patio or backyard playhouse. It is colorful and waterproof and I even thought it could include some jingly things to be kind of a wind chime when blown in the breezes.

Vintage roses and simple joys

I am overwhelmed. Busy. Appointments. Meetings. Deadlines. Needing to clone myself. I say "no" to a lot of things but there are things now that can't be said "no" to. (Yep, I know, don't ever end a sentence with the word to.) Anxiously awaiting time for the "fun" me to be able to do things again. Right now it is the "mom on a mission" me trudging through the days on the calendar, yet they seem to go by much too rapidly.

These beautiful roses are a vintage scrap I am sharing with you. Make something beautiful with them. I will live through your artfulness until I find time for my own.

A little list of things that bring joy:

*pretty pink flowered vintage cotton pillow cases, all soft and nice from hundreds of washings

*my favorite perfume softly lingering many hours after being applied

*very old and extra tattered books in a pile that is not a neatly lined up stack

*a beautiful milk glass bowl with lacy edge that cost just 25 cents filled with brightly colored oranges

buffing and polishing

Just a quick note to say I am busy trying to buff and polish the house...or at least pick up all the stray Legos, and crayons and markers, plastic army guys and Spiderman and Batman, and figure out what to do with all the school papers that come home (enough to surly wipe out entire rain forests)...in preparation for some first time guests who will be paying a visit this week for meetings. These meetings are more stuff to help prepare my E. for all things "special needs adult child" after her graduation from 13th grade this summer. We are on the countdown for her big graduation and for trying to get all the ducks in a row, as they say, to provide the best future for her. Wonder if anyone would want to come help me? You can wear your string of pearls and apron if it helps you work faster/better. I am hoping it will help me!! Wish me well.

promises to keep for tomorrow

Yesterday was a day when my serious face had to keep telling my smiling face to emerge. A very long meeting about all things "special needs adult child" with 11 people around the table and 2-3 others popping in at different times. The kind of meeting that takes a day or maybe even two for any one's brain to digest. Mental films of what everyone offered to the mix replaying through my memory and questions now thought of after the fact. That's the way with these things, I suppose.
The possible job interview process for E. moved along with another phone call yesterday and the promise of another phone call today. Seems they are trying to coordinate at their end.

We had lots more beautiful snow and the weatherman says 2-3 more inches before Saturday. I see, in our weekend ahead, some fun sledding on the big hill.

Picked up my 2 brothers at the airport. They had just spent a week at dad's. My brother said, "What a difference a 5 hour flight makes.", as we drove through the white-out conditions and the snow blew and swirled across the highway before us.

Finished the day with a little escape out to a restaurant with a good friend for a delicious sandwich (Which I ate without the bun. Too much bun! The inside stuff is the good stuff anyway!) and cup of chili. Amazed at how much snow had covered the car in only the time we ate. As everyone else around us grumbled about the cold and snow, I ventured out into it with a warm smile. I love the snow.

So, 5 days crossed off the calendar for this busy week and 2 more to go. Today, phone calls and paperwork to do along with buckets of other things to get done. One thing to figure out is what to do with the bathroom door. The original 56 year old knob has been remachined several times and we were told has lost its "future fix potential". No easy trip to the hardware section as the placement on the door is apparently unique, therefore modern knobs will not function properly and blah blah blah...so, maybe a new door? The duck tape we put on this morning doesn't look good, that's for sure. The joys of home ownership, right? I ask you, where are the guys from that public television home improvement show that fix everything start to finish, neat and tidy, inside of 30 minutes?

Tomorrow, maybe some sledding...oh, and that Greek food I promised myself.

smoothing my ruffled feathers...

...so as to not be like this little birdie in my colored pencil and ink art. Once again, my day was filled with back to back action. Mid day, my meeting with my mentor of all things "special needs adult child" was changed from a meeting to a phone call instead. She succeeded in calming my frazzled worried mom soul and soothed my mind of the many scattered thoughts of the future unknowns. Again. She saves me more than she could ever know. She "gets it".
Later I was thrilled to have a phone message for a job interview opportunity for my daughter. The timing was like serendipity. Please pray or cross your fingers, or both. So hard in this economy for a young adult to get work when there are family heads looking for jobs below their qualifications if only to remain the proud bread-winner in some capacity. It is much more so a difficult task to land a job as a special needs young adult.

So, I cross off the 4th day of the week. 3 more to go. Smiling on the outside and the inside today. I keep reminding myself: Worrying about tomorrow only takes today's peace.

hanging in there

I'm still hanging in there...kinda like the spider in my watercolor and ink art shown here. My special mentor in all things "special needs adult child" is like the lady bug, all balanced and poised. The door is like the unknown that lies beyond today. I am hopeful the door will open to wonderful opportunities.

Yesterday went well with meetings and paperwork and such. 3 days crossed off the calendar for this busy week. I am still smiling, that's a good thing. Today should be ok. Tomorrow...well let's just say tomorrow will take care of itself and I will be glad to have come out the other side!

I might just have a treat this weekend to celebrate wading through it all. My treat, you ask? Nope- not an alcoholic beverage , I am not a drinker. Nope- not ice cream or candy. My treat is Greek food. Yup! I really like Greek food. It is my comfort food. 

a string of pearls might help the process along

A crazy, ugly, busy week ahead. Sunday and Monday crossed off--5 more days to go and then I will celebrate-- living through this hard week anyway! All the endless paperwork, red tape, hoop jumping and denial/rejection letters that are part of the required mess to prepare a special needs adult child for life past the 13th grade. June is getting closer on my calendar pages. Have to get my ducks in a row. In the meantime I will wear a smile and take it one day at a time. Maybe if I don some pearls it will all work out somehow. Everything is better when wearing pearls. At least it always seemed to work for those old time TV moms. Couldn't hurt.

clock as an enemy

Lately the clock has been my enemy. It ticks much too quickly each day. I need more tick tocks in an hour and in a day to do everything. Most people say that means things are simply over scheduled.

Simplify.

I like that word.

I have yet to master it.

People say to wait until you have grown kids. Then you have too much time and you wonder what you will do with all your time. Problem is, by the time my kids are all grown I will be too old to care. I thought having kids later instead of sooner was smart. It was smart for when I was younger. When I am older, not so much!

So here are some activities and thoughts that have been occupying my tick tocks of life.

1. We all survived a 12 week stretch of high school football season, which at our house means marching band season for my 14 year old daughter. Before that, we all lived to tell about 4 weeks of marching band camp. I have to say it went by super quick overall, and I actually had lots of fun. Wish I could have been at 2 places at once so I could have gotten all the other things done while also sitting in the bleachers being very proud and giving support. I somehow found the tick tock time to sew a fleece backed school colors patchwork quilt to use at the games. It will be an investment in the 3 more years of bleacher sitting that are in my future. I'll hint of frustration and let you stew about the stories of camera batteries that went dead at just the worst times or when the battery was charged all day long----- but left at home!! Maybe I can master the battery thing now that we are on to Symphonic Band for the rest of the year.

2. My oldest daughter E. (18) who has OCD and Asperger's at the high functioning end of the Autism spectrum is now a paid employee at 2 (yep, two!) places. It all happened in a short 3 week time period, after months and months of filling out piles of applications. I was so worried that she would not find a niche in the working world of people who actually get a paycheck (she has infinite volunteer hours under her belt). Let me be more specific--I knew she could but I was worried the world would not think so. Besides bursting with a universe size feeling of pride, I also now have added responsibility. *tick tock* Essentially it is like I am the one with 2 paying jobs (on top of my own paying job which can flex anywhere from 25-50 hours a week, and on call 24/7 assisting an elderly relative with Parkinson's and dementia). I am the transportation for my daughter. There's that need for cloning myself, again. Oh, and my wonderful reliable almost 15 year old car is still chugging along and has stopped counting how many trillions of times it has gone in and out of the driveway!

3. I am trying to pack away the Halloween decor and look forward to dragging out the Thanksgiving decor and on to Christmas. Here is how it goes at my house. The kids want it out. They dig and randomly succeed in making a mess of the decor by pulling favorites from the storage tubs. The rest just sits until mom takes over to do the rest. Thus, this is the year I am paring down and saving ONLY the favorites to be packed away for future seasons. The rest just takes up space -- and time! Here's a secret revealed=We have not had a Christmas tree in the house for about 4 years now. I was just on strike and didn't want to repeat the many years before when the kids wanted it ALL dragged out. They dug through stuff making a jumble of red, green and metallic but nothing really got accomplished as far as decorating the tree...and don't even get me started on the way everyone disappears when it comes time to take it all down and pack it away!! Soooo...I just didn't do a tree. It was guilt ridden tick tock time for a while but liberating too. The other day I announced casually that I want to have a Christmas tree. My daughter said, "Who are you and where is MY mother?" Stay tuned for the tick tock result of that promise on my part. Maybe my clone can do it for me. Oh, that's right, I don't have one. I need to sign up for a text alert to know when that is available....only I don't text. *Geeez*

4. I am threatening to pack away all the glass dishes, plates, bowls and cups and buy the cheapest paper products I can get my hands on. Maybe we'll get at least a month's worth supply of tick tock time saving on washing dishes. Sorry I won't be very "green" about saving trees and all, but it could be looked at it like this= I would be saving my septic tank/leach field from all the dish soap that is usually going into it in the "gray water" and I could put the used paper products on my compost pile to rot and be tilled into feeding my Victory Garden next summer. That's green. Now if I could just get my clone to do the weeding while I spend my tick tock time transporting a daughter who may, by then, be earning more than me because I am not at my job because I am using my tick tock time taking her or picking her up from her jobs in a, by then, full 15 years old car.

But...I may end up with even more pride in my pay employed daughter, some great photo memories of my musical daughter, less holiday storage tubs overall, free of dishes to be washed, a healthy organically grown garden, and maybe some extra tick tock minutes added to this old mother's days.

I hope my clone has a nice personality.

periwinkle prom

My oldest child, E., participated in a milestone event in a young lady's life. Senior prom. Although, this does not mean the end of her high school years. She will be a senior again next year. She needs a couple more credits, and in addition, she will have more preparation for life as an adult with special needs.
It is a good plan sometimes to not have to have a race out into the big challenges of the adult world.

E. had a very fun time dressed in her periwinkle colored dress. Excitement and smiles.

I must confess, I had silly preconceived ideas of what this event would feel like with a first born daughter. I thought it would be about deciding about hair, make-up and all the rest, like shopping for some perfect overpriced costume jewelry. 

She didn't want to wear make-up and asked if I could simply pull her hair back into a barrette. That's perfect.

She has a glow without make-up that was further enhanced by her excitement that shined through.

She chose to wear a special pretty string of faux pearls given to her as a Christmas gift many years ago, she made her own earrings since she has a fabulous jewelry making talent, and the barrette was a dollar store special we had in a drawer that matched the pearl necklace just right.

She looked beautiful.

Now about her dress.  She was more than happy to share her story of finding it for $1.50 at a gently used clothing sale. It cost about $15 to have it dry cleaned. One mom was accurate to declare that even with the dry cleaning bill it was a score of a find. I agree!! It was a hit with the other moms of the other girls in the friend group she went with who talked among themselves of the big lumps of money spent for a dress to likely hang in a closet forgotten after one night. One other mom asked if it was her size (which it was) and then told E. if she wanted to sell it to her she would be willing to pay much more than $16.50!! We all laughed!! I don't think E. is giving it up. But if offered big bucks she may possibly maybe change her mind. Maybe not.

Her little purse was a thrifty garage sale find.
E. did ask for months and months beforehand if she could get acrylic nails for the prom. Fake fingernails being on the list of a new experience. I have never been a fan of fake fingernails.... E. has healthy beautiful nails naturally and I thought a new bottle of nail polish would do the trick nicely. I tried to get out of it. I'm never one to miss sneaking a lesson into the school of everyday life, so I decided that it could be turned into a learning experience. I had E. look up in the phone book different places to have it done and encouraged her do the calling to compare prices for the service. I took her to the nail salon with the understanding that the cost would be considered part of her upcoming 18th birthday presents too. I have never had fake nails, so it was a learning experience for me to watch it done for her nails. She chose the perfect periwinkle color of polish...and we did not even have the dress with us!!

Incidentally, I told her that fake fingernails would not get her out of doing her chores. Nice try though!

We had to get a photo with little brother N. We took a photo of the two of them on her first communion day and now we look back and laugh at how little he was. It would seem hard to remember without the photo.
Photos are treasure.

His shirt says "A ninja swiped my homework". Even though he was not spiffed up in a neck tie like he is for the chess tournaments and therefore a more suitable match for his formal dressed big sis, we still needed a picture!

All the moms gathered with their kids at one house to act as paparazzi. It's a necessity you know!

E. had a casual date for her first homecoming dance earlier this year. No date this time, but she didn't mind. She went with a big fun group. Only 2 of the 5 girls in the group had dates. Dinner and dancing was at a big elegant hotel on the river front in a nearby city.

E. had great fun and great memories were made.

That's the best part of this whole milestone event.

That makes future memories!!

teenage invasion

I am one of those moms that loves to have the kids (teenagers) gather at my house. That's what happened again over the weekend. Oh the roller coaster ride that is daily mom-to-teens life!

So this was the scene when the old gang was all back together again. Forget what you have heard about baby proofing a room, that's easy. The room that is teenager proofed is much more thought-filled on the part of a mom. You learn these things after the pop is spilled a few times. I wouldn't have it any other way though as I love the noise and laughter that comes with this group. First up was playing Rock Band. Loud. Is there any other way? It is fun to see them sing and play the songs from my teen age years which this Rock Band thing has made cool again! If not for that the teens would say, "Oh that old song. YUK!" But instead "my music" is on their good music list.


Amazingly A. even managed to get some reading time in, and Cali the cat and Jewel the bird looked on as the noise continued. Notice the covers on the furniture which were still trying to come off and have potential pop spill area revealed.

Throughout the night they ate and ate and ate. This goes along with teens and noise. I think teens have a missing switch which tells a brain and stomach "you are full". They went through 3 bags of pizza rolls, most of a 12 pack of pop, chips and salsa, snack mix, chips and a box of cream puffs. So good that the kids always show up with food to share. They have smart moms!! Actually they brought more food than that, and they would have easily eaten it all if it had just been put in front of them! It will be saved for some party to come soon at whichever house they gather. There are plenty of gatherings when food makes things more fun.

N. came home from a day at Scout camp and was thrilled the whole gang was there and stuff was in full swing.  N. loves to hang out with the teens --and what 9 year old little brother wouldn't? Luckily the teens happily allow him to hang out with them. No problem.

After Rock Band time was done it was time to bring out the karaoke machine and everyone got super silly!! And did I mention the noise level? Loud!

Friends hamming it up with the microphone.

Once again, a modern invention makes the old songs from my time seem cool!

It cracks me up when the teens think a song is new when it is used in a current movie or is done by a new artist as a remake. I always have to be a lame parent and say, "Hey that is actually from the 1970s and I was in (fill in the blank) grade in school during those years, and my friends were...Blah blah blah..."

Like I said- lame parent.

The singing continued until about 10:00 and then they settled in for some movie time.

And more food.

The gang all left about midnight and I sent the leftover and unopened food and pop back home with them, along with their imported entertainment devices (karaoke and Rock Band). I love that they have so much fun, and how lucky am I that all I have to provide is the home (with covered furniture) and the electricity (for all the loudness)!!

I hope they come back again next weekend. 

Room Update

This is the Chinese print fabric E chose to cover her existing comforter. She even sewed it on. The curtain valance is the same fabric now. She likes to use one of my older machines (Mont. Ward) .

You will be glad to hear that her room is still RELATIVELY clean and organized so far. I have had to work with her every day to keep up on it. There was one day she had food wrappers and papers in it and I got a little worried that it was starting again. Stress sometimes triggers symptoms and the room re-do was a huge stress! We do this just one day at a time with her.

It was really, really bad when she was in first through third grade at school...she would gather empty food wrappers from the kids sitting at her lunch table and keep them in her desk and locker and backpack. She would be sent into "a downward spiral meltdown" if the teacher or I or anyone would try to take them and throw them away.

The brain is a hard thing to understand. She is such a very smart kid. She works so hard to keep her challenges a secret-- and thus---the anxiety. She has 3 close lifelong friends that know all her "secrets" and accept her just as she is. She has great friends. She still tries to hide her OCD from the other friends, and the world in general. It's hard work.

E's sweet sixteen bedroom make-over

This post is much longer than my usual post length. Sorry this post isn't all rosy and pink... but it is about decorating!!

For E's 16th birthday I wanted her to have a more grown up bedroom, so we decided to do a room make-over. I asked her- if she could have any theme for the decorating what would she choose. She said Chinese.
She is drawn to the Chinese knick knacks and decorating. My only explanation is that she watched the movie Mulan as a child hundreds of times. It's a far stretch I know, though I don't know to what else it can be attributed!
The big thing for this project was to spend next to NOTHING to accomplish the end result.
I thought- I can do this. I believe in redoing things, using as much stuff as you can that you already own, and just alter it to work and fit the new purpose. We put our thinking caps on and off we went to transform her little girl room filled with horses and horse themed things into a Chinese room with still some horse things worked in.

E. has been a horse lover her whole life. You can read about E. and how she has volunteered at a horse rescue for a while now by clicking on the underlined words. The rescue is a very large farm with sometimes up to as many as 40 or more sick or abused horses that have been rescued, seized or surrendered. E. seems to have a bond with these horses in need. She is great with them and I am very proud of her.

As many of you already know by reading my other posts about her --my daughter has Asperger's, OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder) along with anxiety and sensory defensiveness/sensory processing disprder (which seem to all play as some kind of team in her brain).
One of her many OCD symptoms is hoarding. She feels comfort by having "stuff" to the point of ciaos surrounding her. She gathers random things to be with her at all times. It used to be that way in every setting: at home, at school... even to go on a bike ride to the end of the street. She had to have 1 or 2 backpacks, a purse and maybe a plastic grocery sack filled to capacity with "stuff" with her always.
It has improved somewhat since her newest medicine and involvement in the study of her brain being done as part of our MANY trips to Washington, DC.



We actually sorted through every drawer, box, trunk, shoe box, shelf, under the bed, bag, purse, backpack, books, magazines, toys, etc...
We put everything into categories and then looked at only 3 things at a time to make a decision (her decision not mine) 1. to keep in the room, 2.pack away or 3. get rid of either at the Goodwill or trash.


We kept going with only three items at a time and then we would break for a cool drink or outside break about every hour. By only having 3 things in front of her at any time it made the whole job seem less hopeless. There were times when I would ask her if she needed a break and she would say, "No, let's finish this stuff first." I was so proud of her.
I was very careful to not let the whole process get to the point for her of going over the edge with her stress level which triggers all kinds of mental ugliness for her.


We worked from about 8 in the morning till about midnight each day for 3 whole days. The actual doing part was very hard for her to deal with. I was so very proud of her determination and courage to do this project through to completion.

I feel such a feeling of satisfaction in thinning out her "stuff" that get in the way of her thoughts and controls her mind. I feel sad for her that she cannot have the same freedom inside. She already feels like she needs to fill it back up.

I struck a deal with her... She has FOREVER wanted some of that live bamboo that grows all curly in a fancy pot. I told her if she can keep it reasonably clean and organized until school starts in about a month I will buy her some for her Chinese room. She agreed. We'll see. She will need help and constant coaching and encouragement~ ~ baby steps are a big deal at our house.

(E's room awaiting it's make over, poster and all. These walls were still painted as when the room was used as a nursery years ago. It was way overdue to be repainted, time to eliminate the sponge technique on the walls! )

Above: Now you can see what 2 of E's walls look like after simply putting up some rolls from the party store called "Scene Setters". It took one roll to cover 2 walls top to bottom. No more blue sponge paint...and the best part is- it was easy, quick, cheap and temporary. If it needs to come down- no prob- just pull it down and back to original plastered wall underneath!! I painted the sky and cloud ceiling for nursery days and it will stay the same.
Also in the picture above you see the top bunk of the metal bunk bed frame without the mattress added. The bunk bed was a hand me down from a friend. We painted it black, as it was red when we "inherited" it.
The bottom of her bunk bed is a futon and opens to a double size bed. The top bunk is twin size.

Above: N. helping to assemble the bunk bed frame. You can see I didn't even waste paint on areas that would be covered by the mattress. (Save that paint for other projects in the room!)

The hardest work was moving furniture out in the driveway to paint and moving it back in and lifting heavy boxes of packed up stuff . The neighbors asked why I had a bed set up in the driveway. I said we were moving the kids outside for the summer!!


Above: you see one of the shelves before we finished painting them; they got 2 more coats of paint and look great now. I pulled them from the neighbor's trash. (We have unlimited pick up twice a year in our town and it is like shopping... driving around to see what people are getting rid of!
They were solid wood not particle board in structure, but quite UGLY in their found paint status.

Some people even come out to help you load and haul their stuff away. Some people say "thanks for giving it a good home" and other just don't see the potential in their own cast offs and look at you like you are just plain NUTS!!!)



Above: you see the newly painted shelves stacked one on top of the other.

Tadaaah! The shelves with her stuff she decided to keep in her room- some videos (She has lots of movies- received as gifts or hand me downs from friends and some bought at a thrift store for 49 cents each!), books and games.

(E's horrible dyed black hair. Sorry. I hate it. A phase that hopefully won't last long. She is really a blonde. See?....her roots are growing out already!!!!! EEK!)

Above: E. and her friend apply paint to cover logos on the sides of a square trunk from the neighbor . I had an idea for its make over which involved recycling and just a few cents. E found a Chinese newspaper on a bench in the metro station in D.C. On a color copier, using the newspaper and some Chinese pictures she had, we made collage papers which I used to decoupage on top of the trunk .



Above: This is the area in front of her bunk bed/futon. She uses the black trunk for a "coffee table" and her plastic horses are inside. You can see this photo was taken before I decoupaged the top of it. She didn't get rid of/pack away her folding horse stable and horse trailer for her toy horses. She still plays with them. It is very relaxing for her.


The bottom basket (really a picnic basket) holds her magazines. The top basket holds her stuffed animal horses. We already had the baskets and they were recycled from other areas of the house.
A place for everything and everything in it's place. This is a hard concept for someone like E who has avoidance OCD and hoards. She does not have the more commonly known form of OCD where there is a need for everything perfectly lined up; quite the opposite. She thrives on an abundance of stuff randomly around her.

Above: The lamp is from a thrift store for $2. It is wrought iron and VERY heavy. We painted it black. It came with a NEW lampshade (the right color, too!) and a WORKING light bulb!!! Next to the lamp is a battery operated water fall fountain we bought at a garage sale for $1. It WORKS great. Anything that has a calming effect is a good thing!!



Above: is the hand me down dresser from a friend that I had painted for A's room back when she was a toddler and had a giraffe bedroom...then when N. came along we used it in his safari theme nursery. Now it was time to do away with the giraffe skin paint and do Chinese.


Above: this is what the same dresser looked like with some new paint. In the background- that's the shelf we stacked on top of the other shelf.



Above: is the way the giraffe dresser drawers looked before we Chinesed them. The top two had all those wooden knobs and the lower ones had hanks of raffia tied through where the drawer pulls were. I should have showed you the raffia before I removed it...it looked pretty cute...but alas we had new plans for these drawers!!!!




Above and below: Tadaah!! Look what I did with the color copy machine at the office store!! Now the drawer fronts are covered in the collage paper we made from the Chinese newspaper we found in D.C. left in the Metro on a bench and misc pictures E. collected. The top 2 drawers have 2 small drop pulls and the other 4 drawers have the bigger center handle.

I wrapped the drawer fronts with the heavy weight paper (we used the same on the top of the square trunk) and stapled it on the drawer backs. Very easy to do. E. picked out the new drawer pulls at the store. A "brand new dresser" for under $20.

Above: We kept moving little things around from here to there until they found a "home" in her room!
The mirror was from a garage sale (already painted black) bought for 50 cents. The lamp was from a discount store for $5.

Above: The Chinese print in frame from a garage sale for 25 cents. Of course she had to have her clip board/bulletin board made by Aunt S and her b-day gift of the Chinese Kimono on bottle from Aunt S added to her room!!
She had to keep her horse barn stacked on top of her horse stable (we'll just pretend it's Chinese!!)
Above: This was one of E's 16th birthday gifts. Her first piece of REAL furniture!! It is an antique and still has the old furniture maker stickers inside one of the drawers.
She was so excited about it.  I told her she can keep this forever. I bought it for her at a garage sale. It cost more than 50 cents... I got it for $40!!. It weighs a ton!! 
We also finally hung up her horse show ribbons she won at age 9.

Don't look too hard because we still have to repaint the 2 off white walls with a fresh coat. I guess we did that stage a bit backwards. Oh well. They are walls that will be easy to do as we only have to slide the furniture out a little bit and put down a drop cloth. We were just so anxious to get everything in!!

Above: The inside of the desk is so fun with all the little cubbies and drawer. She filled this up with no problem at all!!
The shelves hold the little things she loves..horses and little boxes and Chinese things received as gifts over time. Also the chopstick set I brought to her as a San Fran souvenir from my trip to stay with her Aunt S and a little figurine of a Rottweiler like Aunt S's.

We decided it looked best being on a slight angle in the corner of her room. 

Above: Little brother(who won't leave Elise alone and thinks she needs his companionship; aka pesty little brother!) reading one of E's Harry Potter books on the futon bottom bunk.

Soon after this photo was taken I found some soft jersey knit black sheets on sale at Target for her full size futon bottom bunk and twin size top bunk. They were really cheaply priced on clearance. Gotta love when you hit a clearance sale just at the right time!!The primary color striped sheets sure weren't fitting into our theme.

Still on the list is to make a cover for her comforters with Chinese print fabric.

Here's a better shot of the ceiling I painted about 8 yrs ago.
The horse picture is original to the house and used to hang in the front hallway in the 1950s. (Remember I am living in the house I grew up in that I inherited...the only house I have ever lived in!! As a matter of fact- this is the room that I grew up in, but when I slept in here it was always painted pink.)
The lanterns were hand me downs from friends. I will sew a valance for the curtain rod from Chinese print fabric.
I hope you enjoyed seeing the bedroom make-over!! I only hope E. can feel relaxed and not too stressed when she is in it. We will see what time brings. We judge E's coping skills ~or lack of ~one day at a time at our house. Sometimes hour to hour.