January Rain Day

     Today started out foggy and wet. For nearly an hour there was unusual January thunder and lightning. I happened to be inside a tall building with big windows during that time and was treated to a wonderful view of the lightning show against the late morning storm-darkened sky. A lightning show is fabulous to watch as long as you are safely inside. Being dry instead of rain-soaked is also a nice feature, and today that was a challenge! The rain poured for hours and even blew sideways a bit. I couldn't help dreaming of some fun pink puddle duck boots and a cute pink paisley umbrella.  I managed to accomplish all my errands and attend all appointments for the day, then the rain stopped after I was done.

     Tomorrow A. has her 21st birthday. She has no classes but is on the schedule at work. I will assemble a decorated birthday table for her to come home to. Instead of a cake, this year the sweet treat will include her favorite tiramisu and cannoli desserts.

What have I done?

• The 2 Etsy shops are filling back up with curiosities, and lots more on stand-by to be listed soon. Stop in and peek around a bit. You can find the links in the right margin.
• Managed to shred lots of computer desk/file cabinet paperwork for January clean-out. Feels freeing!
• My fingers and toes are nicely polished red. Would be nice to have a sports car that same shade of red!

What do I need to do?

• Do some last minute birthday prep and wrapping.
• Continue purging unnecessary paperwork.
• Tackle my closet and organize it the way I have it in my mind.

What do I want to do?

• Have my camera in my hand more frequently so I can capture more every day magic.
• Play among the fabric in my sewing room.
• Frame some favorite family snapshots.

changes

I have been looking through my old posts about my home and collections.
I think it is a good thing to chronicle the every day things in one's life, it gives perspective.
I have changed.
A lot.
My priorities.
My tastes.
My interests.
My expectations.
Looking at past snapshots of my home tells me a lot more than what is seen in the photos.
It reveals a lot about me... to me!

But on the surface, and as far as what is in the photos, this is what I find--
I have eliminated lots of things in my life mostly by choice, but a tiny few by other circumstances.
For example:
1. Two ugly blue plaid love seats (always hated those), gone. Same for ugly red and blue plaid couch from other room, gone. Both were inherited and they provided a place to sit and no more than that as an attribute.
2. Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls and related paraphernalia, also gone for the most part and what is left (about 5% of the original collection), packed away.

3. Dishes, dishes, and more dishes... all inherited and some dragged in the house by other means. Now given away, or donated to charity. Out of my life.

4. Teddy Bears and dolls, but SO much more to get rid of by a variety of means. Always hated the inherited Teddy Bears. Sorry. The dolls, well, way too many. and besides, the girls don't want all those when they are out on their own anyway. Both Teddies and dolls have a lot of emotional guilt attached to them as far as feeling obligated to retain. No more. The guilt curse must be broken. Saying is way more easy than doing. So much guilt of the money that was spent (not by me) on such a non-useful item.

5. Why is it that people ( some direct person in my family tree) felt that spending money on certain things was to be considered an investment for when the stuff came to be mine? I say it was foolish wasteful use of funds. There, I said it. The economy may have been different once upon a time, but I have 2 sayings to conclude this point.
First-- What things are supposedly worth and what people are willing to pay for them are two VERY different points of reality.
Secondly-- Having a lot of useless "valuable" things means you just have to leave more behind when you are homeless.
Don't get me wrong, I am not planning on being homeless. Just sayin'. Think about it, and I think you will agree. In the height of the foreclosure era do you ever drive through an unfamiliar neighborhood and see empty houses and lots of stuff out at the curb? Did they choose to move out of a rental situation and simply did not want all that to follow them to their new destination? Or was it that a well settled family who went through unforeseen unfortunate times and a home foreclosure and had to leave stuff they had (like the 4 kids' favorite games and trophies or family heirlooms from 3 generations ago) because they had just so long to pack what they could fit into their cousins' basement who was kindly enough to take in the family under their crowded roof until something better comes along? I think of this stuff. A lot of my kids' friends have faced this. It's sad.

6. In general, as I look at the past photos of my home, I see that I have lightened the load of thinking that everything that comes into my life, by means other than my choice, does NOT have to stay in my life...or home. I have begun to look at purchasing ANYTHING with a different mindset. I continue to struggle with lightening the load even more. Time is the main factor in this. Sorting is the process. Things need different categories, you know the drill... sell, donate, give away, keep, trash it. Sometimes I think it is easier to just bring in a dumpster like the ones they use when you get a new roof and grab a snow shovel and open a window, start scooping and chuck it all out. YES I AM EXAGGERATING... yet, you get my point.

7. There are many more specifics regarding changes about which items have been used, displayed, or stored within my environment, but the conclusion is... at this stage of my life, less is more. I am utterly and completely comfortable in other people's homes that have lots of furniture and knick-knacks (chatchkies), or paper build up (I will never be free from that myself!), or a lived in slightly untidy cluttered (yet clean) atmosphere. I am absolutely and completely 100% comfortable with that at other people's homes....just not mine...because to me it represents my own expectations with myself and what I want to accomplish for my life.

My family and friends all live somewhere in the middle between an episode of hoarders vs. a sterile surfaced, temperature controlled, air filtered bubble. I don't know anyone personally at either extreme end of that scale. I could never be comfortable anywhere that is an ultra minimalist-type home. I could never live that way nor could I feel cozy to sit for 5 minutes at a home that does live that way. You know the kind... 1)where there are no pictures anywhere, 2) no mail or bills sitting about needing attention, 3)no kid art gracing, maybe, the front of the refrigerator or displayed proudly somewhere prominently, 4) no blanket tossed over the end of the couch, 5) no dish or two waiting to be washed after Sunday brunch ( but if they sit one minute too long I go crazy), 6) no laundry waiting to be done, or 7)no trace of dust (temporarily!!)somewhere near the wood burning fireplace to write your name in along side a smiley face, or..... you get the idea, right?

Holiday Cheer

What Have I Been Up To?

• Trying to secure a job that fits. (failing miserably)
• Trying to tidy (3 kids, remember) and decorate the house. (failing miserably)
• Trying to maintain a smile so everyone can see the me they want to see. (failing?)
• Trying to put myself first on the list for a change. (or anywhere on the list, number 1,001 would be even acceptable)

What Do I Need To Do?

• Prepare, serve and hostess a dinner for family and friends.
• Be a wonderful wife, mother, and all the rest.
• Make it through another holiday season.

What do I Want To Do?

• Bask in the joy of observing anyone other than me, today, clean a toilet (or anything else) around here.
• Disappear for 24 hrs and see if anyone notices.
• Relax for any amount of time, do nothing for more than 30 seconds, not look at a calendar for a day, have no appointments for 24 hours...... in other words, BE SELFISH.

another day in a string of bliss

What have I been up to?

• having to accept that some things just happen as they will, no matter how much planning you do in life (a tough realization sometimes, for me that is!)
• adjusting lifestyle to 1 paycheck after finally being pretty gosh darn comfy with 2 ( I am worth so much more, but have to be humble in securing that a paycheck is again at least steadily received)
• enjoying little moments with family and friends ( not saying I have oodles and oodles of friends more than you, but why is there never enough time for all the fun that beckons to be had with those you treasure?)

What have I completed?

• painted a thrifted desk that has been patiently awaiting my attention for FAR too long. It is now semi-gloss black with sleek silver metal drawer pulls and a decoupaged top featuring gobs of clock face images sealed off with plenty of clear coat (to protect precious "time")
• taking the 1st big step to changing a kitchen that has been asking for a make-over for nearly 58 yrs (will be a slow process... due to second point above)
• sorting through and eliminating scads of magazines (did you know that if you only save the pages you really are interested in, you can make the compressed foundation of your house rise a few inches?)

What do I need to do?

• clean my closet (what the heck is in the back anyway?)
• dig out the favorite Christmas decor and chuck the rest to the goodwill (the kids probably don't want that stuff one thinks they do when they move out some day. Someday seems a  l o n  g way off !)
• write some Thank You notes ( to show I have some upbringing, after-all)

What do I want to do?

• disassemble the dog pen before the snow flies so I can see more of the pines coated in frosty white sparkles (or at least stop looking at the eyesore as it is now)
• tackle the file cabinet so my new year will start fresh (Geez, I hate ugly paperwork build-up)
• put more photos in black frames, new and vintage (writing on the backs would be a bonus too)

Back....finally!

[ love this photo I took of my daughter and a surprising gourd from our garden ]

My computer, it seems, is somewhat of a senior citizen in the technology world. I could no longer blog as I once did. I could not install the needed updates that Blogger required to play on my own blog. Sad, really.

I had a lot to say. I wasn't sure what to do. When in doubt, and you are of a certain middle age, what should you do?....Ask the advice of a teenage offspring, that's what!!

Now it is all fixed and well, and now I am back. With a lot to say.

[ my stack of antiques travel cases filled with special keepsakes, I have since this photo ditched the one in the middle with no handle. ]

Things I have Been Up To:

* I lost 50 lbs in 5 months, my first goal, and so far a total of 54lbs

* loving my new job of about 7 months!!

* not getting much of anything done around the house

* learning to say "no" to things and people

* severing the umbilical cords to my children so they can become more independent

* surviving somehow on less than 5 hours of sleep every 24

* enjoying my new car

* trying to enjoy every minute of every day, as life seems to be racing past

* reading an interesting book

* celebrating another birthday

* feeding a bit of shoe lust with some purchases, I was very long overdue for a turn (life of a mom)...usually the kids get all the new shoes!

Things I want To Do:

* work in my gardens

* rearrange the furniture in my bedroom

* paint in watercolors

* draw my favorite birds in colored pencils

* achieve my next weight loss goal by August

* get rid of "material things" around the house with emotional guilt attachments

Things I Need To Do:

* sort through stuff around the house

* redo my filing cabinet

* detail the inside of my cars

* clean out my closet, lots of things are WAY too big to fit anymore!

* take stuff to the Goodwill

* take donations of books and videos to school

still around...

Betcha wondered what became of me? Maybe not?
I am still here.
Life is busy. Busier every year.
I am enjoying the ride but wish some days it all went at a slower pace.
Any ideas how to slow the spin of the Earth?
Looking forward to Christmas. How 'bout you?
I have been reading blogs... far more often than writing on my own.
That's obvious.
I have some great new (vintage) photos to list as digital scan purchase. Hope to get to those SOON!

Life takes me along

I have been so very busy that I find I have been away from the blog for almost a complete month. I needed to stop in and type up some words.

Some days I feel like this....
A stick in a stream being pulled along and trying desperately to avoid the rapids and rocks.

I thought of this example in the car one day when I was being the usual family taxi service, a responsibility I seem to be sentenced to for now. Don't get me wrong, I want to transport my children to the places they need to be and also want them to do some fun things too. I just feel like I am always last on the list of priorities.

I am my (now adult) special needs daughter's transportation when she cannot utilize the county's para-transport system bus. I hope to someday find a reliable person to take my place in this, if not all the time at least some of the time. It is a real tie down to my schedule and life. Please don't think I do not absolutely love her. Any parent of a special needs child knows what I mean.
Transportation is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to responsibilities of managing her day to day life. It all takes dedication of a lot of time to run an organized life of a special needs child, no matter their age or stage of life.

Lots of my so called friends have proved to be "fair weather friends" and have decided they just can't understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I don't ask that. I just ask for them to listen, as I listen to their joys as well as challenges and sorrows with their own children and their own lives too.


Lots has been going on in my own life and in our house too.
I have gone on strike (again) with some household duties--I am only one person, after all-- but most of them seem to be un-noticed anyway.
We have had to do a major home improvement project- not by voluntary choice, I may add, and the timing is pretty bad.
I have been without my job since July 31st, since my boss suddenly died.
I have been without my uncle since he died. He was my boss.
I cared for him 5-7 days per week in his home for 5 years, also including being his driver and companion for all his transportation needs, and doing all his shopping runs by myself, alone.
I will tell you this: It is hard to have a relative as an employer too.
My only other uncle died just 5 weeks after my boss uncle.
I spent some treasured quality time with him in his last few weeks.
I miss them both so much more than I had ever expected.

Now that the frost is covering the neighborhood each morning, I realize that I did not even have time to use my clothesline this summer. Now it's time to stack the firewood closer to the house. The clothesline will be there next summer, waiting.

I find I am not such a fun person these days. I think of all the creative thoughts I had and things I did.
I will get back to all that some day soon.
Just not now.
Life is taking me for a ride down that stream, at a very fast clip.

Flash Back-simple memories

Now that Summer is getting closer to its end and changing looks, grass grows more slowly and the crickets and cicadas are being extra noisy especially at night, I find myself being reminiscent of times when I was a young girl.

--getting on the bus the first day back to school, deciding where to sit
--new stiff shoes, maybe with a (grown-up feeling) 1/2 inch heel
--the smell of a new box of crayons
--weekend slumber parties with friends, playing board games until way past a normal bedtime
--doodling in spiral notebooks using lots of different colored pens or markers, while listening to the radio
--flowered cotton pajamas, sweet smelling from the laundry line
--playing outside using imagination for hours, without a care in the world
-- lying on the floor next to the sleeping cat in the patch of sun shining through the window, wondering how she makes that purr sound

Memories are such a strong therapy when grown-up-ness gets too hard.

times and other things...they are a changin'

I enjoy a good vintage ad.
Don't you?
Let's look at this one here, shall we?
Let's take a closer look. This looks like an attractive enough woman in the year 1963.
Agree?

Let's take an even closer look. Apparently standards in body image or clothing sizes --or maybe simply just vocabulary--have changed in that many years. Their catalog says "fashions for larger women".

Really?

Did they accidentally use the wrong models' photo shoot for this cover?

Ok.

Let's go in for some details here. Maybe I am just a little confused. Little. Maybe I should say slight.... er, maybe tiny. Oh crap. Let's get on with it.

38-60.

Are they talking about their tablecloth measurements for their dining room table? They certainly aren't talking about these models.

Ok stop, to be fair, the hourglass silhouette that girdles and bullet bras gave these women may have a disillusioning effect on the over-all look of a dress. But still--I think this represents models with 38 as the high end measurement category.

False representation? Cause to starve yourself to compete?

You decide.

Also, does anyone ever still use the vocabulary word= hose? My grandma did. Vocabulary certainly changes over time and through eras of society.

Sorry, the time has expired (a few decades or so) to send for your free style booklet.

" for STOUT Women" !!!

dreams

I have the tea ready to pour into beautiful, hand painted mismatched cups, a hand embroidered linen cloth on the table, a dainty crystal plate of School Boy chocolate dipped cookies (I'm not a baker) and there is a yummy apple cinnamon pie scented candle burning. Soothing low volume music drifting though the air. For sale: original art by me and some talented people I love. One area displays wonderful old vernacular photography of people from a hundred years or more ago along with vintage unique handbags/pocket books/purses and vintage soft cotton petticoats-you know the kind- with pin tucks, lace and white on white embroidery. No velcro in sight (no sir-ee), just the tiniest little mother of pearl buttons as closures. That's what I would do if I could have a dream brick and mortar shop!

Vintage roses and simple joys

I am overwhelmed. Busy. Appointments. Meetings. Deadlines. Needing to clone myself. I say "no" to a lot of things but there are things now that can't be said "no" to. (Yep, I know, don't ever end a sentence with the word to.) Anxiously awaiting time for the "fun" me to be able to do things again. Right now it is the "mom on a mission" me trudging through the days on the calendar, yet they seem to go by much too rapidly.

These beautiful roses are a vintage scrap I am sharing with you. Make something beautiful with them. I will live through your artfulness until I find time for my own.

A little list of things that bring joy:

*pretty pink flowered vintage cotton pillow cases, all soft and nice from hundreds of washings

*my favorite perfume softly lingering many hours after being applied

*very old and extra tattered books in a pile that is not a neatly lined up stack

*a beautiful milk glass bowl with lacy edge that cost just 25 cents filled with brightly colored oranges

promises to keep for tomorrow

Yesterday was a day when my serious face had to keep telling my smiling face to emerge. A very long meeting about all things "special needs adult child" with 11 people around the table and 2-3 others popping in at different times. The kind of meeting that takes a day or maybe even two for any one's brain to digest. Mental films of what everyone offered to the mix replaying through my memory and questions now thought of after the fact. That's the way with these things, I suppose.
The possible job interview process for E. moved along with another phone call yesterday and the promise of another phone call today. Seems they are trying to coordinate at their end.

We had lots more beautiful snow and the weatherman says 2-3 more inches before Saturday. I see, in our weekend ahead, some fun sledding on the big hill.

Picked up my 2 brothers at the airport. They had just spent a week at dad's. My brother said, "What a difference a 5 hour flight makes.", as we drove through the white-out conditions and the snow blew and swirled across the highway before us.

Finished the day with a little escape out to a restaurant with a good friend for a delicious sandwich (Which I ate without the bun. Too much bun! The inside stuff is the good stuff anyway!) and cup of chili. Amazed at how much snow had covered the car in only the time we ate. As everyone else around us grumbled about the cold and snow, I ventured out into it with a warm smile. I love the snow.

So, 5 days crossed off the calendar for this busy week and 2 more to go. Today, phone calls and paperwork to do along with buckets of other things to get done. One thing to figure out is what to do with the bathroom door. The original 56 year old knob has been remachined several times and we were told has lost its "future fix potential". No easy trip to the hardware section as the placement on the door is apparently unique, therefore modern knobs will not function properly and blah blah blah...so, maybe a new door? The duck tape we put on this morning doesn't look good, that's for sure. The joys of home ownership, right? I ask you, where are the guys from that public television home improvement show that fix everything start to finish, neat and tidy, inside of 30 minutes?

Tomorrow, maybe some sledding...oh, and that Greek food I promised myself.

smoothing my ruffled feathers...

...so as to not be like this little birdie in my colored pencil and ink art. Once again, my day was filled with back to back action. Mid day, my meeting with my mentor of all things "special needs adult child" was changed from a meeting to a phone call instead. She succeeded in calming my frazzled worried mom soul and soothed my mind of the many scattered thoughts of the future unknowns. Again. She saves me more than she could ever know. She "gets it".
Later I was thrilled to have a phone message for a job interview opportunity for my daughter. The timing was like serendipity. Please pray or cross your fingers, or both. So hard in this economy for a young adult to get work when there are family heads looking for jobs below their qualifications if only to remain the proud bread-winner in some capacity. It is much more so a difficult task to land a job as a special needs young adult.

So, I cross off the 4th day of the week. 3 more to go. Smiling on the outside and the inside today. I keep reminding myself: Worrying about tomorrow only takes today's peace.

hanging in there

I'm still hanging in there...kinda like the spider in my watercolor and ink art shown here. My special mentor in all things "special needs adult child" is like the lady bug, all balanced and poised. The door is like the unknown that lies beyond today. I am hopeful the door will open to wonderful opportunities.

Yesterday went well with meetings and paperwork and such. 3 days crossed off the calendar for this busy week. I am still smiling, that's a good thing. Today should be ok. Tomorrow...well let's just say tomorrow will take care of itself and I will be glad to have come out the other side!

I might just have a treat this weekend to celebrate wading through it all. My treat, you ask? Nope- not an alcoholic beverage , I am not a drinker. Nope- not ice cream or candy. My treat is Greek food. Yup! I really like Greek food. It is my comfort food. 

a string of pearls might help the process along

A crazy, ugly, busy week ahead. Sunday and Monday crossed off--5 more days to go and then I will celebrate-- living through this hard week anyway! All the endless paperwork, red tape, hoop jumping and denial/rejection letters that are part of the required mess to prepare a special needs adult child for life past the 13th grade. June is getting closer on my calendar pages. Have to get my ducks in a row. In the meantime I will wear a smile and take it one day at a time. Maybe if I don some pearls it will all work out somehow. Everything is better when wearing pearls. At least it always seemed to work for those old time TV moms. Couldn't hurt.

thoughts of my day revealed

It is snowing again today in northern-most Ohio. I love it. I am happy when it snows. I love winter. As long as it is cold there might as well be snow. Snow makes everything look bright and clean. I can do without the melting dirty slushy snowy left-over part of winter, though. Give me everlasting white pretty snow!! Please.

My favorite weather spans from any month it starts to snow {which around here can be anytime after late October} until any month it stops snowing {which around here is usually around late March but has been known to happen as late as early May!} I know I am in the minority in my love of cold and snowy days.
I don't ever get cabin fever...although I don't stay inside "the cabin" ever...I go out in the snow! 'Cuz I love snow!
I don't get cold outside. It has to be below 20 degrees for me to wear a coat. People who know me and see me wear a coat say, "It must officially be cold, Amy's finally wearing a coat."
I never wear a coat/hat/gloves unless A) I am going sledding or building a snowman or B) if it is below 20 degrees. Honest. To just go away anywhere in the car or run errands I don't wear a coat, just a sweatshirt or a couple layers of long sleeve shirts.
It would be heaven to me if I lived somewhere that never went above 70 degrees.

Here's my definition of hot weather, at least here in Ohio: 1. humidity, 2. gross soggy clothes, 3. mosquito bites. YUK. YUK. Super YUK!

I was hoping to drive to my favorite recycling scrap art store today. Ran short on time after all my other tasks. To drive there in the snow would have taken longer than the usual 20 minutes or so and they would have been ready to close up shop 10 minutes after my estimated time of arrival. That's no fun! I need to lose all track of time when I am in there digging around, not keep track of time. Hello!, that's the whole point of getting lost in there, thinking up things to make with unusual stuff, while escaping the outside world.
They have more arts/crafts/sewing stuff there than I could ever list. You can fill a plastic bag slightly smaller than a grocery sack for $5. Yipee! I limit the purchase to just 1 bag and I try to stick with a rule that I take at least 1 bag of stuff to donate to help the cause, the "only bring home same/less than you take out" philosophy.
PS- my mom mobile is just slightly newer than these in the above illustration.

When I did finally arrive home, deciding the rest of my running around out on the snow/ice covered streets would wait until another day, I was met with something that I hate when it goes on and on and on. Barking dogs. My barking dogs. I hate barking dogs, especially when they are mine. Barking for a purpose is ok I guess. Barking just to bark is so annoying to my ears I find I want to crawl out of my skin!! UGH! The dogs were put in their kennels. Ahhh. No more barking! I can stay calmly inside my skin. *deep breath*

PS- don't call anyone to report me. They had shelter and water and food. They bark endlessly year round despite the weather and temperature, just to try to "separate me from my skin"...and sanity!

A night ahead will look almost like this when my dear husband comes home from a long day of working way too hard for his adoring family. He doesn't usually have a suit and dress shoes on to lounge in the chair, though. He is more likely found in a pair of sweats and flannel shirt and socks. Oh, and we only get the Sunday paper. He finds lots of other things to read during the week. He is a sitcom junkie too. He says laughing at silly shows helps him wind down from a day of work.

I, myself, hate sitcoms that have laugh tracks (or canned laughter, as some people call it). Have you ever really listened to a laugh track? It is crazy dumb sounding. Remember when shows like I love Lucy were filmed in front of a LIVE audience? The people in the TV studio inserted the REAL laughter at the right times. After live audiences were a thing of the past they decided they needed to have laugh tracks since the home viewing audience might not be suave enough to know where to insert their own laughter without prompting. UGH! Go ahead and close your eyes while watching a sitcom sometime and see what I mean about it sounding crazy dumb. Almost as bad a barking dogs making you want to climb out of your skin, but not quite as bad. *insert laughter here*

Oh, and the toys scattered on the floor are true to our home scene. Always.

I do enjoy sitting by the fire which burns at our house from about October through April (see above reference to snow-month-spans in northern-most Ohio). I however do not wear a dress and high heels to lounge. My jammies would be more like it. Any chance I get. Usually right after dinner. N. would not be wearing shorts in front of the fire either. But he would be found among a pile of Legos on a regular basis. Have you ever stepped on a small stray Lego with shoeless feet? Go borrow some Legos if you have to and try that one for a treat. *insert sarcasm laugh track here*

PS- don't you love to look at old illustrations and compare your present day life to the life-style that once was?

Where did the time go?

Do you ever get incredibly bored with my tiresome theme running through this blog? Time...or lack there of, or the swiftness if time. Here we go again! Where has the time gotten to?

Christmas vacation from school for my 3 kids has flown by before our very eyes on the calendar. In a few more days it's back to the old routine and getting everyone up at 5:45 a.m.

{On a side note, we are not allowed to call it Christmas break or Christmas vacation at school anymore. Not politically correct it seems. We have to call it the winter celebration. Don't get me started!!!!}

(Image source: The Feathered Nest blog, free images)

My kids desperately wanted to go sledding. We had snow and plenty of cold. Wind chill ratings of single digits. I was tied up with this and that and thought we could do our sledding this weekend as we don't really plan much for New Year's Eve and the weekend in general. I love to sled right along with the kids. I'm sure they think it is lame to have their mom trying to act like she is young, but heck, I don't much care. I love sledding.

Nope. It is not to be, and I have sad children. We have 50 degrees today and guess what else. Pouring rain and thunder!!!!

In Ohio.

In December!!

When Christmas is here...

{Click to enlarge then right click and save.

Use for your crafting pleasure.}

 I have been snapping a few pics around our place. N. has even been capturing some Christmas spirit around the house with the camera too. He is pretty excited about his Christmas house. What do you remember about Christmas at your house as a youth? I remember my mom always seeming so calm and organized. I can't find that calm mom costume to put on right now. Maybe it is hiding in the back of that closet I have not had time to get to. Hmmm. Yeah, that's probably it.

clock as an enemy

Lately the clock has been my enemy. It ticks much too quickly each day. I need more tick tocks in an hour and in a day to do everything. Most people say that means things are simply over scheduled.

Simplify.

I like that word.

I have yet to master it.

People say to wait until you have grown kids. Then you have too much time and you wonder what you will do with all your time. Problem is, by the time my kids are all grown I will be too old to care. I thought having kids later instead of sooner was smart. It was smart for when I was younger. When I am older, not so much!

So here are some activities and thoughts that have been occupying my tick tocks of life.

1. We all survived a 12 week stretch of high school football season, which at our house means marching band season for my 14 year old daughter. Before that, we all lived to tell about 4 weeks of marching band camp. I have to say it went by super quick overall, and I actually had lots of fun. Wish I could have been at 2 places at once so I could have gotten all the other things done while also sitting in the bleachers being very proud and giving support. I somehow found the tick tock time to sew a fleece backed school colors patchwork quilt to use at the games. It will be an investment in the 3 more years of bleacher sitting that are in my future. I'll hint of frustration and let you stew about the stories of camera batteries that went dead at just the worst times or when the battery was charged all day long----- but left at home!! Maybe I can master the battery thing now that we are on to Symphonic Band for the rest of the year.

2. My oldest daughter E. (18) who has OCD and Asperger's at the high functioning end of the Autism spectrum is now a paid employee at 2 (yep, two!) places. It all happened in a short 3 week time period, after months and months of filling out piles of applications. I was so worried that she would not find a niche in the working world of people who actually get a paycheck (she has infinite volunteer hours under her belt). Let me be more specific--I knew she could but I was worried the world would not think so. Besides bursting with a universe size feeling of pride, I also now have added responsibility. *tick tock* Essentially it is like I am the one with 2 paying jobs (on top of my own paying job which can flex anywhere from 25-50 hours a week, and on call 24/7 assisting an elderly relative with Parkinson's and dementia). I am the transportation for my daughter. There's that need for cloning myself, again. Oh, and my wonderful reliable almost 15 year old car is still chugging along and has stopped counting how many trillions of times it has gone in and out of the driveway!

3. I am trying to pack away the Halloween decor and look forward to dragging out the Thanksgiving decor and on to Christmas. Here is how it goes at my house. The kids want it out. They dig and randomly succeed in making a mess of the decor by pulling favorites from the storage tubs. The rest just sits until mom takes over to do the rest. Thus, this is the year I am paring down and saving ONLY the favorites to be packed away for future seasons. The rest just takes up space -- and time! Here's a secret revealed=We have not had a Christmas tree in the house for about 4 years now. I was just on strike and didn't want to repeat the many years before when the kids wanted it ALL dragged out. They dug through stuff making a jumble of red, green and metallic but nothing really got accomplished as far as decorating the tree...and don't even get me started on the way everyone disappears when it comes time to take it all down and pack it away!! Soooo...I just didn't do a tree. It was guilt ridden tick tock time for a while but liberating too. The other day I announced casually that I want to have a Christmas tree. My daughter said, "Who are you and where is MY mother?" Stay tuned for the tick tock result of that promise on my part. Maybe my clone can do it for me. Oh, that's right, I don't have one. I need to sign up for a text alert to know when that is available....only I don't text. *Geeez*

4. I am threatening to pack away all the glass dishes, plates, bowls and cups and buy the cheapest paper products I can get my hands on. Maybe we'll get at least a month's worth supply of tick tock time saving on washing dishes. Sorry I won't be very "green" about saving trees and all, but it could be looked at it like this= I would be saving my septic tank/leach field from all the dish soap that is usually going into it in the "gray water" and I could put the used paper products on my compost pile to rot and be tilled into feeding my Victory Garden next summer. That's green. Now if I could just get my clone to do the weeding while I spend my tick tock time transporting a daughter who may, by then, be earning more than me because I am not at my job because I am using my tick tock time taking her or picking her up from her jobs in a, by then, full 15 years old car.

But...I may end up with even more pride in my pay employed daughter, some great photo memories of my musical daughter, less holiday storage tubs overall, free of dishes to be washed, a healthy organically grown garden, and maybe some extra tick tock minutes added to this old mother's days.

I hope my clone has a nice personality.

genealogy rant-blame the caveman

Maybe it is because I am not very techno savvy. I try to fake it but I possess no real modern gadget talent. Enough to make it through a day {barely} in 2010- yet not up to the standards of, say a Harvard or Yale student born way way after the 1960's!!!!
Maybe it is that I just need more to worry about. Who knows what the reason is for today's rant...
This is what is on my mind. I am a genealogist- a family tree maker, preserver of family facts- for the non-genealogist types out there.
What will future genealogists face when they try to piece together a family's history of important and not so important, yet no less interesting, pool of info and supporting documents? I say they will face a lot of deader than dead ends. I could save all my concerns and worrying and just assume that in the future no one will even care about family facts and history. Yeah, that's probably it. Too busy riding around in their flying cars. Shopping on the moon.

(Pictured at far left is my mom's sister, second from left is my mom, others are cousins. 1930's original photo that you can hold in your hand and touch in real life.)

Modern picture storage has become to some or most people, putting their new and even vintage snapshots on either a USB flash drive, CD, memory card or on an internet archive site.

Here is the impending potential problem for that...Flash drives, CD and memory card files can become corrupt and then are simply lost information. Gone into the nowhere zone. Forever. They can also become broken. Just broken. A memory card can even be vacuumed up [after all we do like our modern, super, suck-up-almost-anything, vacuum sweepers. "What was that noise I just heard? Humph, probably just a stray Lego again!"]

or lost inside the deep recesses under sofa cushions never to be found again.
Don't laugh! I once read an article about someone who did an experiment over a period of months. While doing his normal driving around he kept watch for sofas and chairs out at the curb. He stopped and, bravely without embarrassment, sliced open the upholstery with a utility knife. He found hundreds of dollars in both coins and paper money along with many other valuables such as jewelry and even flash drives and memory cards. Lots of the items found where simply under cushions or in the side deep recesses where most dare not reach into. I assure you he also wore gloves to protect himself and his health while doing these hunts. Amazing to consider overall.
Do you ever stop to think about the fact that it is super ultra cool to be able to hold thousands of photos on such a tiny piece of technology yet all those thousands of images can be lost just as easily?
Here's the other problem with photo technology and its future fate. What about the technology that reads these things becoming obsolete? I don't need to draw a picture of that implication to you , do I?

And the photo storage web sites? Well, they all have names and passwords and sign in info to help keep them protected yet that is the same thing that will keep your great grand-daughter/or son or great-great niece from seeing it. Understand? It will be of no use to the future members of your family after you are gone. Heck I can't even keep up with all my own ID #s, passwords, user names, etc, etc. - let alone make sure they are all left for future generations to find and use. And you are always supposed to keep changing them too, for security.
Security. Now there is still another problem. Long ago you did not have to worry about identity theft like these days. Info was readily available to genealogists. Nowadays we have to be so careful about every little detail and the safety of those details. I can say with much certainty that the generations to come will not be able to piece together a fully detailed family tree due to the plague, which is today, identity theft.

All info will be so well hidden and tucked away. Maybe only criminals and hackers will be the true genealogists of the future??!!!


Modern document storage. That subject will sound like the same rant here today on my blog...
We are encouraged to scan and keep digital files of documents instead of keeping actual papers, new and vintage. Purge the paper, we are told. The same problems occur as with photo saving technology.
Also, you can't display great-great grandma and grandpa's marriage certificate from 1896 on the wall in its original gold leaf frame or touch the linen paper of great- great aunt Pearl's nursing school diploma from 1902 when it is on a flash drive or CD. Yes I know, you will say, "You can just print them out on your handy dandy modern printer."
Sorry. Not the same!!!!! Just not the same. And if you think it is then you are a wannabe genealogist. Sorry.

Here is my conclusion. I am willing to admit I am probably in the small minority here with my crazy opinions. I am just saying that printed photos-modern and vintage- have their purpose and value in this world.
Paper (ephemera. see my side bar for definition!) has its purpose and value.

No modern convenience technology can ever replace that.

The worst roadblock I have ever had to overcome in researching genealogy facts is that of fire destroying records from back in the 1700's in a church in Germany. I can't blame that on technology...unless I blame the cavemen for discovering the the modern technology of fire.